


Open Arms

by dearfriendicanfly



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:40:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27794740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearfriendicanfly/pseuds/dearfriendicanfly
Summary: Sometimes, Natsume misses a person he's never met. And in those times, Madara is there for him.(Natsume has a nightmare. Sensei is more talkative than usual.)
Relationships: Madara "Nyanko-sensei" & Natsume Reiko, Madara "Nyanko-sensei" & Natsume Takashi, Natsume Reiko & Natsume Takashi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	Open Arms

_He only ever saw the back of her._

_Whether she was laughing or crying, playing around or running for her life, he only ever saw her back. Sometimes, he would hear her. She might sing to herself, and he would catch a piecemeal melody on the wind. She might speak to someone just out of sight, and he wouldn't be able to parse the words, but it would make him sad. He could only ever make out bits and pieces of her. He could never share these moments with her. They were distant memories that didn't even belong to him._

_Tonight, she was sitting on an old swing. A simple rope swing with a wooden plank for a seat, tired and worn. It had clearly been well loved by someone, but now stood forgotten in some hidden corner of the forest. So Reiko claimed it for herself. She swung back and forth, her long, white hair trailing behind her, and the swing groaned under her weight._

_She swung higher and higher, nearly lifting out of her seat with every graceful arc. The rope pulled taut and stretched itself as far as it could go and then even farther. The branch sagged and creaked and he tried to yell for her to stop. She couldn't hear him. She kept flying higher, and the toes of her shoes seemed like they could brush the sky. He heard Reiko's voice on the wind. He couldn't tell if she was laughing or crying._

_He started to run. If she fell, he would catch her. That much, he could do for her._

_But he had hardly taken a single step before the rope snapped. She flew through the sky, her hair practically glowing against the sun, and then started falling, falling, falling..._

* * *

When Natsume awoke, he felt a familiar weight on his chest. He spotted a glint of gold in the dark.

"...Sensei?" he murmured, reaching out a hand. Sure enough, Natsume felt Nyanko-sensei's head leaning into his touch. He scratched behind the yokai's ears and heard a contented little _purr_. "Did I wake you?"

"Hmph." Madara stood and crawled down from his perch. He settled on a spot just by Natsume's head, and the boy turned on his side to face him. "You talk too much, even in your sleep."

"Heh, sorry..." Natsume pulled the futon snugly over them both. "What was I talking about?"

Nyanko-sensei was quiet. Natsume could hear his soft purring, feel the futon lift a little with each of his breaths. "Nothing important," Sensei finally mumbled, "as usual."

Natsume reached out and ran a hand over Nyanko-sensei's back. His fur was standing slightly on end. Natsume's own heart was still beating sickly fast, too. "...You saw my dream."

Again, the yokai was silent. He just sat there and let Natsume pet him, and slowly, both of them started to relax. Nyanko-sensei softened under Natsume's hand, and Natsume's heart slowed, leaving him feeling drained.

"I'm sorry," Natsume murmured.

"What for?"

"...I don't know."

Nyanko-sensei let out a huff. "Then don't apologize, stupid." All the same, the yokai drew a little closer. Natsume hesitantly lifted an arm, and Nyanko-sensei nestled into the space to let Natsume hold him. The nightmare came back to Natsume in bits and pieces — the snap of the rope, Reiko seeming to dissolve into sunlight, that sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he watched her fall...

He curled up around Nyanko-sensei, pressing a cheek into the yokai's head. _I miss her,_ he wanted to say, even though it made no sense to miss a person he'd never met. _I can't imagine how much worse it is for you._

"She would have laughed at you."

Natsume blinked. In the dark and with Sensei's back to him, he couldn't make out the yokai's expression. He spoke so rarely of Reiko that it took a moment for Natsume to realize what he meant.

"...Why?"

"For pitying her." Nyanko-sensei yawned, shifting into a more comfortable position against Natsume's chest. "You're exactly the type she liked to pick on. Gullible and sensitive."

Natsume smiled at that. He could just imagine Reiko now as an old woman, no less childish than she had been fifty years ago, playing games and pulling pranks on him. It made his heart ache to think about what could have been.

"I don't pity her," Natsume said quietly, and it was true. "I just... it feels... too small, sometimes."

"What does?"

"I don't know... All of it. I can't... I can't change anything."

_Not for her._

"I wish I could have known her. _Really_ known her, not just... dreams. Pieces of her."

Nyanko-sensei grunted in response. "You humans don't live long enough to waste your time thinking about the past. Reiko lived her life, and you ought to do the same."

It might have sounded cruel to Natsume a long time ago, closer to when he and Madara first met. But now, all he could think of was what a heavy thing it must be to have all of eternity to mourn, to dwell on the should-haves and could-have-beens.

"Did she ever laugh at you, Sensei?"

Madara fell silent. Natsume held him a little closer.

For a while, they lay there like that, listening to each other's heartbeats. They waited for sleep to come and take them once again, but it never did. Natsume replayed the nightmare in his head, over and over, wishing that just once, he could reach Reiko in time. Hold a hand out to her and feel her take it. Keep her feet firmly on the ground.

"...I never imagined anyone would want to know her," Nyanko-sensei murmured, breaking the silence. "I thought she would always be alone, just like she said she wanted."

Natsume had wanted to be alone, once. Almost his entire life, he had wished for it. Wished to find himself somewhere far, far away where no one could hurt him, and he couldn't hurt anyone. He'd thought of his grandmother often during those times, how his family always spoke of her with hushed voices and disdainful faces. She had been like him, he had been sure. If she was still alive, could they have gone somewhere far away to be alone together? Without her, he hadn't dared to dream of ever being understood.

And now, for the first time in his life, he had someone who could understand and share in his grief for this person he'd never met. Someone who knew her in the way that he never could. Someone who had loved her.

"I don't think anyone truly wants to be alone," Natsume said softly.

Nyanko-sensei mumbled something in response, but Natsume couldn't make it out. He was starting to become sleepy again, with Sensei's warmth radiating from Natsume's chest. As he started to drift, he imagined Madara tearing through the sky, far faster than Natsume's own legs could carry him, appearing in a burst of sunlight to catch Reiko in midair.

"...Sensei?" he murmured sleepily. "Before... was that my dream, or yours?"

He only heard a quiet snore in response.

**Author's Note:**

> Was feeling a bit down and sat and wrote this in one go. I think about Reiko a lot. As always, kudos and comments are appreciated more than I can say <3


End file.
